Ja said Pain is Love.

Well coming from where I'm from and the friends that I have, we have all experienced life with the ups and downs of the relationships we form with others. Similar to what any other human being encounters while out in the world. Today a close friend of mine, found out that her boyfriend and the guy she just discovered she's pregnant by is cheating on her. To say I wasn't surprised is an understatement. This is one of a few girls that I always thought looked better than me, who got all the guys attention. Till this day I'm well aware of the attention that these girls still get, but If I could do it all over again, I'd do it the same way. Because with the attention I didn't get back from the boys I gained in the confident department to feel how I feel today. I am glad I had to find myself first before I got all that unnecessary attention, Now I'm more so humble and or flattered by the gesture of a male trying to "holla at me." Not to say that sometimes their pick up lines are wtf, never do it again, lines never the less I'm flattered. A person whom always was the center of popularity or chosen over the best of us. Is being put to the ultimate test. I am not glad to know she is experiencing this hardship but this is a wake up to reality that dudes are dudes, are dudes and whether we as woman want to except it. they think with their dicks first and their hearts second. More often when the damage is done. Catya from this seasons bad girls club ( season 5) stated something very true in this weeks episode that " Men know their worth, and as women we need to know ares." Most females don't realize that in order to have love and unconditional love they first have to love themselves. How in the heel do you expect this man to be you everything if he can't even be real with you. I am more sadden that as a female, I know on some levels how she feels. No I don't have children nor am I expecting in, but I have been deceived by a man and dropped to to rock bottom. It was not until later that I realized, how can i expect anymore of him if I'm not expecting more from myself, for myself. My feelings go with her in her time of confusion, and hurt. But we as woman must finally say no more. And me, myself I've done that. If with this guy it occurs I know as a woman what I need to do, because it won't be me. All these years I would have blamed myself for things that were outta my reach, my control and not my doing. I'll know all that love that I have given myself will shelter me and have me well equipped to deal with the world as it will be presented to me when and if it comes to an end. I am blessed to have love, but if love isn't there anymore. I will be as grateful to have met him. I want to be her friend, but I must be that person on the outside looking in. If she need me i'll be there because everybody needs a friend. Pain is not love because love isn't suppose to hurt